Hello? This is an automated message from the FBI
by XxNightfirexX
Summary: When Robin writes a flame on FF . net he is arrested by the FBI. But are they really the F.B.I.? And who wrote the story? RobStar. Special appearance by two hobos and Slade! Chapter 2 dedicated to all my reviewers who wanted it.
1. Automated Message

**So, at home I have a white board with a calendar and a note section. On the note section, I always put ideas for stories, and I have been putting this one off for a week now, and it's driving me nuts because I've been spinning so many stories off in the past three days. So, here goes my next oneshot!**

**Disclaimer: I don't know who thinks I own them, but I don't. Okay? So get over it.**

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If you are reading this, most likely you are on this website, in which case you are here to read stories from people's imagination. You may be here because you like the particular author, or because you simply have no better reading material at your house. The genre might be one you adore, or a certain theme could have attracted you. Then again, this could also mean that you have no life, and you spend all of your time obsessing over a TV show, like yours truly does. But, have you ever wondered who else is reading the stories you read? Are you the only one at the moment, or are there people, miles and miles away from you, that are reading every word you do, in perfect harmony?

It was a long, boring, tiresome day for the Titans, and no one had attacked the city for two weeks. Cyborg and Beast Boy were so bored that they didn't even have their wars over meals anymore. In fact, Cyborg was ready to become a vegetarian and Beast Boy was thinking about eating bacon just to spice their life up a bit. The city had been in a drought for several weeks, and the morning hours of the day had brought some much needed rain. However, the sidewalks were so hot, that the water almost immediately evaporated, causing a whole lot of fog and a terrible humidity problem. It was terrible.

No one had said a word, for using energy would tire themselves even more. Everyone was miserable. Well, not for Raven. She was actually enjoying the silence, even if she knew it would end soon.

Starfire had been in her room the entire day, doing god knows what. Everyone went ahead and assumed she was playing with Silkie, because the last time they had disturbed her, she was in the middle of some Tamaranian ritual, and it wasn't pretty. So everyone stayed away from her door.

Robin was in his room, too bored to work. He was playing around with his computer, wishing the day would end and he could get some sleep. Normally he wouldn't care what time it was that he slept, but it is not really acceptable for the team leader of the greatest teenage superheroes ever to walk the face of this Earth to fall asleep at noon.

Now, I said "playing around with" not "playing on." He was too mature to play computer games, or at least that is what he told himself. Video games were another story, but not computer games. He wouldn't sink down to that level. He was just "playing around with" the computer when he came across a website called fanfiction .net. Anyway, he was curious to see what this was, so he clicked on the link. There were several categories, and one of them was Teen Titans. He decided to click on that one, and see what stories people had wrote about them. He was pretty sure that they were all just horrendous pieces of work that somebody's kid wrote in their free time. he didn't expect a lot of them, maybe about twenty at most. However, when he saw the story count, his eyes widened.

There were over 20,000 stories! How would he pick? He then noticed a few boxes where you could narrow down your search. He decided he wanted the main character to be him, and he wanted the story to be complete. He didn't plan on staying at this website for too long, so what was the point of starting something that he would never finish?

'_Hmmmm….' _He thought,_ 'I am a mature person, I'll make the rating M!' _He was sure that he could handle it, after all he _was _Robin, Boy wonder.

5 minutes and several trips to the bathroom later…..

'_I'll never look at Starfire the same way again…..' _he thought to himself. There was a box there where you could write a review. He wrote a very short and to the point review, simply stating that he would never do that to Starfire. Obviously he didn't tell them who he was, for they would never believe him anyway so there really was no point.

THREE DAYS LATER

The door bell rang. Robin went to go answer the door when the F.B.I. stepped in.

"Are you Robin?" They asked. He nodded. he wasn't quite sure why they had asked, it wasn't like there was anyone else on the planet who dressed liek a traffic light and lived in a giant 'T.' that it, is you don't count Speedy, who in reality was a little slow.

"We were instructed to take you downtown for questioning, for submitting a bad reviwe to 'the master's' story," They told him. At this point, Robin as beginning to wonder whether or not these guys were serious, and who 'the master' was. It was probably some crazed fan.

"What?!" Robin yelled, "This is SO messed up!" He said, as he was being led into a police car. He was supposed to be taking people to jail, not the other way around. Plus, this was just some random story on a website that he had found quite by accident. Nothing really made sense to the poor guy anymore.

-FIVE HOURS LATER-

"Hey B?" Cyborg asked, "Where's Rob?" He had become so bored that he had gone out, bought a bunch of magazines, brought them home, and was now making a collage out of random pictures of fruit loops that he had found in them.

"Oh, he was arrested by the F.B.I. this morning," BB said, not really interested. He was so bored that he had sunk as low as macaroni art, and was currently making a guy holding a balloon that read 'I LOVE CAKE.'

"Ho do you know that?" Cyborg asked, looking up. He was curious as to why Robin had gone and got himself arrested. Then again, it seemed like it would be more fun than what he was doing at the current moment.

"They left an automated message on the answering machine this morning," BB replied. He glued another peice of macaroni to the paper plate that was now more of a glue and pasta massacre.

"I don't think that was the F.B.I., B," He said, glancing over at the phone.

"Why not?"

"The F.B.I. doesn't leave automated messages on answering machines…."

The End?

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**Well, you tell me. Is it the end? Or should I write another chapter? The automated message was an inside joke between me and my friend. We were prank calling people, and we ran out of ideas, so she called someone, and the answering machine picked up. Suddenly, she starts saying that it was an automated message from the F.B.I. I cracked up.**

**Well, tell me if it was good, bad, or crap. Flames will be laughed at, and the F.B.I. will come after you! HA! **

**Please Review!**

**XxNightfirexX**


	2. Slade, the CIA, and two hobos

**I thought I might as well get this one over with….**

**Disclaimer: No, I do not own them. I DO own the automated message joke!**

**Random Question: Why is it called the 'Doom Patrol'? Doesn't Patrol mean you're out on the lookout watching someone and, you know, defeating all Doom?**

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"What do you mean, the FBI doesn't leave automated messages?!" Beast Boy asked, flailing his arms above his head. He was pretty sure that the message did state that it was, in fact, the FBI who had called, and he wasn't about to be proved wrong.

"I mean the FBI doesn't leave automated messages!" Cyborg responded. He tried to motion towards the phone, but his hand had been glued to the table, so ut was pretty impossible to do so at the current moment.

"Will you two shut up, already?" Raven asked, sending a glare their way. It seemed as if everytime she reached a good part in her book, someone would interupt her. She had tried going to Nevermore to read, but then her emotions would come bounding towards her, and she would have to face her father to get out, all because she wanted to know what had happened after a wizard defeated a dragon.

"But, friend Raven, does it not displease you that Robin has been arrested?" Starfire asked. She had finally returned from doing whatever it was that she had been doing and had joined the rest of the team just in time to hear what had been going on. Although she was not quite sure who the FBI were to begin with, she was pretty sure that if they had taken Robin away, that they were evil and cruel men.

"Frankly, in my opinion, it was bound to happen eventually," She replied, going back to her book. In the background, Cyborg was still trying and failing to remove his hand.

"I know!" Cyborg said, "We could read that story that Robin submitted that review to, then, if it is REALLY that bad, we could sue whoever wrote it! It's genius!"

"Whatever."

Back in Robin's room, the four were practically scarred for life.

"Who would write such a thing?!" Starfire cried, covering her eyes, as if it would have done her any good.

"Someone with a sick mind. I think I'll just go ahead and erase everything that I saw right now," Cyborg announced.

"Dude, no fair! I'll have those mental images stuck in my mind for life!" Beast Boy cried.

"What mental images?" Cyborg asked, having forgotten everything that had happened that day, "And why do I have pictures of fruit loops stuck to my hand?"

"It's a long story," Raven told him, walking out of the room.

So, the Titans broke Robin out of jail, and went to find this so called, 'FBI'.

It turned out that it really wasn't the FBI, but was the CIA! They all lived happily ever after.

"Wait a minute! The CIA doesn't leave automated messages!" Cyborg exclaimed.

AT THE ROBIN AND STARFIRE CAVE, AKA THE EVIL LAIR OF SLADE,

Slade closed his laptop, and smiled at his new merchandise from Tokyo.

"I would have appeared in that movie," Slade thought to himself, "But I was too busy writing this M rated story! The Titans will never suspect I wrote this story! Can't Robin and Starfire see that they're meant for each other?" He looked at the clock. "Oh! Almost time for the Robstar fan club meeting! Can't be late for that! I just have to pay those two random hobos I hired off the street to arrest whoever flamed my story!"

The hobos walked in.

"Well, did you arrest them?" Slade asked.

"No, we couldn't figure out who he was!" the hobos said.

"Than how did you leave that message on the answering machine?!"

"What message?"

Slade walked over to the telephone and turned on his messages.

"Hello? This is an automated message from the FBI…"

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**Okay, well, personally I thought that was a gay ending. But, whatever. There is NO MORE to this story, people! NO MORE!**

**Please Review!**

**I have another chapter of TAOMG up, so read soon, please!**

**XxNightfirexX**


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